New Ventures in Capitalism

How's your brain? Are you taking good care of it? Feeding it daily? Learning new things?

If you answered yes to any of these questions, then you are not the work-from-home parent of a two year old toddler.

The Varmint has been working off-site for the last months, whilst I have been left to my own devices with the company and the kid. Things are progressing smoovely, thankyouverymuch, but a price has been paid. I've been craving brain food. A witty conversation. Some enlightening research. Something meaty for the ol' noggin to gnaw on completely unrelated to the earning of dollars or raising of children.

I am not saying that I'm bored. It's just that a brain can only take so much corporate-speak or Wonder Pets before turning to sludge. An entire day's worth of doing bongs won't wreak the sort of brain damage that a day's worth of Wonder Pets inflicts. One can only take so much singing about saving baby animals. Especially when the singer has a lisp. "WETS SAVE DA BABY WI-ON!"

Wonder PetsJust as bad? The corporate name game, where acronyms supplant English as the language of choice. I could care less about your SEO for your b-to-b PHP site and follow-on SEM. It's an eye-roller - one-part secret handshake and two-parts Xanax for the paranoid-employed. ('If I make this sound REALLY complicated, then my personal stock soars!') 

I actually understood that sentence, by the way, a fact of which I, as a former journalist, lover of language, and current writer (arguable), am not proud. I blame The Varmint for my ability to decipher this ... this... geekspeak. He of the technical know-how and mathy brain has polluted me, despite my valiant efforts.

DSC_1602And so it is with great relief that The Varmint and I welcome Deb, former and now returning PR goddess, to our fold. She has chosen - by her very own choice! - to come aboard our design agency.

We've decided to pool our resources and work together a few days a week. We're ramping up the marketing division of the studio while The Varminator serves clients off-site.

Deb and I are having a fine time so far, too. Well, mostly fine. That look she's giving you? The "Who farted?!" one there in that photo to the upper left? I get that look at least once a day. She likes to keep me sharp - as in sticking pointy things in my backside.

There are other bonuses. The reintroduction of adult conversation. Real laughs. And pure, unedited snark for pandering subcontractors peddling acronyms. We've taken to asking the offenders what their acronym stands for, and have been pleasantly surprised that at least 1 in 3 isn't sure.

Anyway, I raise my steaming mug of coffee in a toast - to future endeavors, to the three Ps of partnership, preschool and prosperity, to adult discussions - and finally to my personal dream that Wonder Pets will be immediately cancelled and all copies of past episodes permanently erased due to a network intern having spilled bongwater on the archive server.

Hey. A girl can hope...



  1. The Varmint said on October 23, 2008 19:24

    "...sticking pointy things in my backside."



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I am a writer and lazy artist who loves travel, architecture and design. Right now, I'm into photography. My fabulous husband (a.k.a. The Varmint) and I are also the principals of a San Diego-based creative agency - and new parents to the divine Baby Mak. Read More >