TV - Worth It's Weight In Gold

For all of the folks out there who smugly affirm that they "almost never watch television" or, worse yet, "don't even OWN a T.V." this, perhaps, might not be the entry for you.

For the record, I fully and publicly call bullshit on at least half of you, and to the other half, I defy you to watch a show such as The Wire and then look me in the eye and call it a waste of time. Between watching The Wire or reading an entire best-selling Sophie Kinsella book, there is no contest. The T.V. show wins, hands down.

Let it be said that this is a family that unapologetically loves its T.V. Admittedly, until last week, we'd never seen an episode of American Idol (that changed thanks to the Writer's Strike) or Oprah (not tempted, even with the strike, sorry!) but there are definitely shows we wouldn't miss. These include The Wire, Heroes, Ugly Betty... we like some cheese, too - Moonlight, anyone? ... and a small sprinkle of reality T.V. (Top Chef, Project Runway), which to my mind constitute the bacon bits of shows - being best consumed in tiny portions. We even have a current fave in Jakers! - which is a funny and charming kids' show for all ages.

I take some comfort in the fact we are not alone. Our friends Christy and Ant sold their first born and bought a beautiful 60" HDTV and sent us into paroxysms of jealousy. Their purpose? Movie night.

Let's face it. People with kids pretty much center their lives around the house, not because we want to, but because we HAVE to. We used to go to movies. But now, TV is our movie theater. Other friends Dusty and Jenny make no bones about it: Kids or no kids, they love T.V.. Greg and Deb, longtime anti-cable reformists, finally broke down and got DVR and have unapologetically converted.

So, after a well-documented long wait, it was with great satisfaction that we saved up and finally purchased the flat screen TVs we've been waiting for, in cash. We even hired Dusty to professionally set up our Totally Bitchin' Bedroom System (TBBS), complete with a 32" flat screen and surround sound. Yeehaw!

Strangely, nearly everyone who's seen our set-up has 'Ooh!ed', 'Ahh!ed' - and said something along the lines of, "Whoa! That's gonna make for some serious porn!"

ron-jeremyBut let's get something straight, people: We're parents. Of a toddler. In a 970-square-foot house. And let's face it, high def porn that big and in surround sound? Not that appealing. I'll take that extra degree of separation in the form of a crappy, 24" TV, no problem. Nobody needs to see the high-def version of some pimply, hairy tuckus, hammering away. Picture Ron "The Hedgehog" Jeremy in high-def. Seriously. Go right ahead. I'll just be standing way, way over here in the corner. You know, so I don't get anything on my pants.   

Truth be known, our system has already paid for itself in hours of sleep. To be clear: Every morning, the kid waddles up, climbs in our bed, and starts screeching and beating Mama and Dahdee around the head and ears, pulling back the covers and generally using our bladders as trampolines. With one click of the remote, the kid settles down and snuggles in for a little hit of Jakers!, whilst we, The Exhausted, get some extra shuteye and are permitted to awaken in a bit more civilized manner. 

So judge us as you will, chastise us if you must. We don't care. It's with bag-free eyes that we'll heartily proclaim to any who'll listen: "TV. Worth its weight in gold."




  1. Dex said on February 11, 2008 23:10

    Like I've ALWAYS said: "Porn is the devil's theatre."

  2. Dex said on February 11, 2008 23:13

    Fine, I'm busted! What I really meant to say is: "Porn is the devil's theatre."
    Popcorn anyone?


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I am a writer and lazy artist who loves travel, architecture and design. Right now, I'm into photography. My fabulous husband (a.k.a. The Varmint) and I are also the principals of a San Diego-based creative agency - and new parents to the divine Baby Mak. Read More >