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Cat Wars
Siegfried

So I'm chatting via email with my good friend Dex, and we get on to one of our regular topics which is Why Do People Own Cats?

I'm pro-cat. Dex, not so much. As in, "I don't get it. People are insane to own cats."

What he really means is: WOMEN are insane to own cats - having had to navigate the delicate relationship between cat-and-owner whilst trying to close the deal himself - only proving my point that cats are smarter than he gives them credit for. I believe the word "vermin" was used at one point or another.

This argument has become a bit more personal in nature for me, as we've adopted a stray ginger, tiger-striped kitty (that's him, above) we've come to call Siegfried. (Which, it has been pointed out to me, may be a bit insensitive, considering, but really? The name is a tribute to my Aunt Jayne whose travel journals I've been reading. She drove a '57 VW Bug around Europe for more than a year and named it Siegfried. The rest is just a happy coincidence.)

This morning I was supposed to take feline Siegfried to the vet for shots, but he had other ideas. Siegfried escaped from the kitty carrier in less than five minutes. I was smug in thinking I'd caught him with no problem, but underestimated his wily, outdoor-cat ways. I just had to call and cancel his appointment.   

Which, as I mentioned to Dex, illustrates one of the many reasons I think cats are cool. They surprise you and are often smarter than you think. Dex of course ignored this, and responded to my adoption in the following way:

"Why? I hate cats. Why do people have them? Geez."

Which left me no choice but to send 10 REASONS WHY PEOPLE LOVE CATS:

1. They're soft.

2. They purr and love you up.

3. They're beautiful to look at - a moving work of art.

4. They can be elegant one minute and clumsy, sheepish clowns the next. 

5. They talk to you - purrs, meows, kneading, rubbing - without ever using pesky words.

6. They listen.

7. They do amazing stuff - jump 8 feet straight up in the air to pop a soap bubble, for example.

8. They're independent - totally capable of giving you a "fuck you" one minute, but going right back to #2 the next.

9. Their eyes are marvelous - intelligent, beautiful colors, clear and expressive.

10. They're not men.

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From: dex
Sent: Thursday, October 18, 2007 7:50 AM
To: tam@onegoodlife.com
Subject: Cat  Ownership

 

I still think they suck. Also, I KNOW all you just did was repurpose a blog post about "why I love Mak."

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Obviously, there can be no rational discourse, here, no civilized communication. Sadly for Dex, in the same way homophobes have sublimated certain personal tendencies to fuel their irrational hatred, the man is a cat hater.

By the way, did I mention Dex hates having his picture taken? Me-ow.

GeraldatMak's1st

Comments

  1. Dex said on October 31, 2007 13:45

    Ever play soccer with a cat? Wanna try? Could be a fun way to break up the work day. BTW, thanx for showing me with my "I hate cats" face. Or maybe that was my face that says "I'm never, EVER coming to another Tam-sponsored event because of her crazed, maternally-inclined need to take pictures of everything within view including, possibly, molecules, which you can't really see, but the freakin' Varmint probably has some crazy software on his computer with stupid-mad resolutionary capabilities, and damn, that just boils my b*lls, because it'll only compel The ConTaminator to keep taking pictures even though -- as she readily admits -- Dex HATES having his picture taken and hates cats (but loves HATS and loves clothes). And what kind of person (asked Dr. Suess) do you suppose would love clothes, but hate cats and love hats? Answer: One of Tam’s single friends. The coolest one (not named Megan).

    ***See how I worked my "game" into that?***

  2. Tam said on October 31, 2007 13:52

    Ooooh! I got a rant! Score! Score!

  3. roobs said on November 25, 2007 10:10

    ooooo. I love a great banter. I also love how Tam can still torment Dex at just the right angle. Hey, remember when we infiltrated his visitor-proof pad? I chuckle every time I think about it. By the way, I have to side with Tam on this debate. What can I say? I just lugged my own two cats from the west coast to the east coast and I usually don't admit to having cats.

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I am a writer and lazy artist who loves travel, architecture and design. Right now, I'm into photography. My fabulous husband (a.k.a. The Varmint) and I are also the principals of a San Diego-based creative agency - and new parents to the divine Baby Mak. Read More >