Take a Seat, Baby

I am constantly amazed at the volume of crap it takes to raise a kid without going insane - play gyms, toys, chairs, seats, saucers, bouncers, wheelies... People fret about feeding, clothing and educating their rugrats, but few people give the 411 on the real expense: Daily baby stuff. 

The truth is, it's not the kid that needs all the crap. It's the parents. The one sole purpose for the investment of any item is to buy mom or dad five minutes of peace. That's just enough time to take a whizz, grab a fistful of cottage cheese, or rinse the outer layer of slime from your body. Your choice.

I, for one, shop with the purported purpose of stimulating my kid, turning her into a brighter, smarter more clever version of herself and therefore optimizing the genetic standard model The Varmint and I doled out to her with the optional Intelligence Package upgrade. It doesn't come cheap.

But in truth? The real question I ask, and the real question, if you get right down to it, all parents ask when shopping for toys, is simple: Will my kid be interested in this thing long enough so that I can brush my teeth? If the answer is 'yes' or even potentially 'yes' - it then becomes a must-have item. Fifty bucks, you say? No problem. If it means I can actually eat a snack with both hands, I'll pay it.

Some items, right off the top, you can tell will be winners. Such is the case with this high chair, given to me by Deb, Jen, Donna and Mary: a fabulous subset of The Girls. (Thanks, ladies!) Why do I know that this li'l item is a winner? Simple. There's the cool design. There's the fact that the kid can never outgrow it. There's the cool, smack-worthy plastic protector for the tray. But mostly because you can lock the kid in it AND THEY CAN'T GET OUT.

So thanks, Girls: My morning poop has just been reinstated.




  1. Ubermegan said on April 22, 2007 15:49

    Wow, girls, that's a gorgeous chair! Will it truly fit my 15 year old son, so he'll sit down to a meal with me? It would be well worth the investment.


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I am a writer and lazy artist who loves travel, architecture and design. Right now, I'm into photography. My fabulous husband (a.k.a. The Varmint) and I are also the principals of a San Diego-based creative agency - and new parents to the divine Baby Mak. Read More >