Baby Steps to Amnesia

Sometimes, it feels like I wasted a few too billion brain cells during the halcyon days of my youth. I could really use them now.

Take for example the current state of affairs: Feeling pretty much stretched to capacity, I watch my precious offspring struggle with chubby baby toes, pudge-ridden baby legs, and mini thunder thighs to catapult herself forward via that thing they call crawling. I believe the Latin term is Vive Parentis Terminus.

With legs like hers, it's literally a matter of days before she goes mobile. This has me simultaneously thrilled and filled with dread.

She sat up for the first time day before yesterday as my mom squealed "Tam! Look! Look!" from the other room. She repeated the performance four times. As it is, she's rabbit-hopping nearly at will, rocking back and forth, testing her balance. Once she gets a few more neurons connected, she's off to the races and wham-o! Our lives will never be the same.

I'm painfully aware that this will be the point that will require every spare bit of wit and resource I've got left. How do you corral a kid who has been conducting experiments in human flexibility and extension for over half of her life in an effort to reach the searing hot frying pan filled with bacon? She's already too fast for us. We've got to free up some resources, somewhere. 

Therefore, with the exception of a couple of fantastic women, I've decided to delete all memory that has anything to do with my sorority membership. That should free up some capacity - and trust me, no one needs to remember that. No one at all...




  1. Deb said on April 12, 2007 16:11

    I think you should remember your sorority days and provide us with pictures and memories.

    As for the crawling, don't worry; nothing will change, except everything in your house below three feet.

  2. The New Yorker said on April 20, 2007 12:50

    I better be one of those "fantastic women", or I'll be sending someone to talk to you.


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I am a writer and lazy artist who loves travel, architecture and design. Right now, I'm into photography. My fabulous husband (a.k.a. The Varmint) and I are also the principals of a San Diego-based creative agency - and new parents to the divine Baby Mak. Read More >