Bitey's On the Block

I would like to announce that our killer coffee table is up for sale.

And I don't mean 'killer' as in: rad, cool, awesome, or wonderful. I mean 'killer' as in a cold-blooded, shin snapping, knee-crunching, black-and-blue bruise-making coffee table with a very bad attitude.

We've nicknamed the table Bitey for good reason.

Nearly every friend and family member who has ever come over has cracked their shin or knee on the thing. Our own shins have dents shaped perfectly to Bitey's multitudinous corners, and have grown shiny with scar tissue over the years. We blame the glass top, but really there is no excuse: Bitey is an attack table.

And as such, he needs to be put down.

Unfortunately, Bitey's parents have soft hearts and greedy natures, so we've decided that Bitey should live on to decimate the shins of unsuspecting strangers. We're charging a mere $125 for the privelege. 

So, if you happen to see an ad on Craig's List for an IKEA Coffee Table that looks pretty good, think twice. We don't mind sacrificing the shins of strangers on a daily basis, but friends? We're only comfortable letting that happen when they stop by on occasion.


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I am a writer and lazy artist who loves travel, architecture and design. Right now, I'm into photography. My fabulous husband (a.k.a. The Varmint) and I are also the principals of a San Diego-based creative agency - and new parents to the divine Baby Mak. Read More >