Sleepless in San Diego

This isn't going to be a funny entry. Humor takes effort, and I'm too damned tired.

Insomnia has plagued me ever since I can remember. Often, I'm fretting over work stuff or a weird social thing - but sometimes, it's just plain looney. What it makes sense to worry about at 3 in the morning is not the same stuff you worry about in the bright, saner light of day.

For example, "Did I leave toenails on the bathroom floor?" can keep you anxious and sweat-drenched for a good hour in Insomnia Land.Insomnia2.jpg

It's a special kind of crazy. By far Tam's most common brand of insomnia is the Wake Up in the Middle of the Night and Never Get Back to Sleep variety. If, for example, The Varmint happens to rip a particularly good snort out of his allergy-plagued sinuses one pollen-drenched night, there's a good chance it'll wake me up. Actually there's a pretty good chance it'll wake up the neighbors, too. Usually, I stuff earplugs in my ears and slap back to unconsciousness without incident. But sometimes? Sometimes it's all over. After hours of rolling around in the bed like a crocodile with an antelope in its jaws, I trudge zombie-like and drooling to the sofa. There, I watch TiVo until the sun rises. InsomniaFace.jpgOn rare, precious occasion, I fall asleep on the sofa. Usually, the start of the work day is right when the true fatigue kicks in, and I'm a babbling incoherent nutjob trying to fake consciousness for the rest of the day. Melatonin, Ambien, heating pads, hot showers, caffeine deprivation, exercise moderation - I've tried it all to no avail. I think some people are just resigned to the occasional bout of insomnia.

Like The Momster, who sometimes wakes up at 2 or 3am. Mom likes to startle the paperboy by yelling "Thanks!"" when the paper hits the porch.

Hmmm. So there it is. Maybe this whole thing is genetic?! I've tried turning lemons to lemonade (see above drawings, created during various insomnia bouts). But the truth is, all I'm really good for during an insomnia bout is passive entertainment.InsomniaEyeballs.jpg

Oh sure. Scaring the paper boy would give me something to look forward to, but since I read the paper online, there's no chance of that. . .

Maybe I'll just call my mom at 3am and thank her for the genes, instead.


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I am a writer and lazy artist who loves travel, architecture and design. Right now, I'm into photography. My fabulous husband (a.k.a. The Varmint) and I are also the principals of a San Diego-based creative agency - and new parents to the divine Baby Mak. Read More >