The Varmint is obsessed with monkeys. It reminds me of the sort of focused, intense love that Koko, the famed sign-language literate gorilla, had for her pet kitten. If, for example, you were to see The Varmint staring off into space, and you were to ask him what he was thinking about, there would be a 50-50 shot that he would reply, "Monkeys." Ask him again and he'll say, "Monkey-monkeys."

Ask The Varmint what he wants for the holidays, and he'll think about it awhile, then reply, "A troupe of spider monkeys for the tree in the backyard."

He collects monkey t-shirts, his favorite being his Royal Monkey tee, which I feel sure he will wear to the King Kong movie - for which he plans to take a day off of work in order to see on Thursday.

No offense to his parents, but The Varmint frequently acts like a monkey, as well, scratching himself inappropriately and grunting. This is particularly true when he first wakes up. If he wants something really badly, he just points and hoots. Even in public. Always at the Mac Store. It's just his way. It's taken awhile, but I've come to accept it. 

MonkeyOrnament.jpgSo when The Varmint agreed to "help with the holiday tree" I knew what he really meant: He wanted me to buy the tree, truck it home, trim it, mount it, do the lights, unpack and hang the ornaments, and then to make sure that Chimpy was left out and ready for him to hang when everything was said and done.

This year, I'm proud to say, he put Chimpy in a really nice spot. We're making progress.


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I am a writer and lazy artist who loves travel, architecture and design. Right now, I'm into photography. My fabulous husband (a.k.a. The Varmint) and I are also the principals of a San Diego-based creative agency - and new parents to the divine Baby Mak. Read More >